


"i can't live without you dan"

by fobhowell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fobhowell/pseuds/fobhowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>there was a car accident and dan is in hospital (warning: there is death. this is literally a thing where i just kill dan and make phil sad im sorry i don't love myself)</p>
            </blockquote>





	"i can't live without you dan"

**Author's Note:**

> i can't write for shit but i write shit anyway (im sorry for the underdeveloped and ooc phan)

It was an accident, and really, that's the worst part. Phil almost wishes it hadn't been one, just so that maybe he'd have someone he could blame, someone he could be angry at. The thing is, it _was_ an accident and therefore the only thing he can be angry at is the universe, which even in his current state of emotional wellbeing, seems rather pointless. All he's got is this fucking sadness, coursing through his veins and boiling under his skin, and with each strangled breath he takes, he still can't seem to get enough air.

 He grips Dan's unresponsive fingers tightly in one hand. His other one is curled in on itself, nails digging into flesh. He feels Dan's body shift and looks up to see brown eyes peeking out from underneath heavy eyelids. Dan's voice is quiet and scratchy when he breathes out Phil's name.

 Phil tries to reassure him, saying "Dan, shh, it's okay, you don't have to say anything. I'll go get a nurse, you just rest." He attempts to rise from the uncomfortable plastic chair given to him as a seat but the younger boy pulls lightly at his hand. "Phil, please just listen I- This... us... life with you... I just want you to know that-" His speech is cut off by a series of coughs and Dan can taste copper on his tongue when he opens his mouth again. "It has been... the most fun I've ever had." Phil chokes on tears and smiles fondly down at the boy lying in the hospital bed. There is a moment of tranquility where everything seems quiet, calm. And then- the moment ends. 

Dan's eyes fall shut and his arm goes limp and the various machines attached to him start beeping at an alarming rate as Phil is pushed out of the way by doctors and nurses who rush to Dan's side. Everything from then on is a blur in his mind. Through the ringing in his ears, Phil can faintly hear someone call out "Time of death.." but the words don't register in his mind.

There's a funeral and tears and people offer Phil their condolences but he doesn't quite notice because he feels so numb and nothing happening around him feels solid or real. It's weeks later and only when Phil's halfway through pouring coffee into a second cup that he remembers and it truly settles in. He'll have to drink both cups because he's alone in the flat and he's alone in his life because Dan is not here anymore. Dan is dead. OhgodohgodohgodDanisdeadDanIsDeadDANIS- Phil's legs can't support him any longer and he topples to the ground as tears fall down his cheeks and sobs tumble from his lips. He wishes Dan were here and he thinks that if ghosts were a real thing Dan would be here so he says out loud the words he wants Dan to hear. He apologizes for all the dumb fights they'd had and every day Phil hadn't told him he loved him and "Please come back to life. I'm scared. I can't live without you."

 Later he pours out two full cups of coffee that have gone cold.


End file.
